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Q: Why do they never serve beer at a math party?

A: Because you can’t drink and derive…

Q: Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?

A: Because it had more cents.

Q: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

A: He worked it out with a pencil.

Q: How many molecules in a bowl of guacamole?

A: Avacado’s Number

Q: What happened to the plant in math class?

A: It grew square roots.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

A: To get to the same side.

Q: How do you make seven an even number?

A: Take the s out!

Q: Why wasn’t the geometry teacher at school?

A: Because she sprained her angle!!

Q: Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?

A: It’s two gross.

Q: Why couldn’t the moebius strip enroll at the school?

A: They required an orientation.

Q: What does a mathematician do about constipation?

A: He works it out with a pencil.

Q: Why is a math book always unhappy?

A: Because it always has lots of problems.

Q: Why don’t you do arithmetic in the jungle?

A: Because if you add 4+4 you get ate!

Q: Why did I divide sin by tan?

A: Just cos.

Q: How do you know your math tutor is hungry?

A: He’ll work for pi.

Q: Where do math teachers go on vacation?

A: To Times Square.

Q: What do you call friends who love math?

A: algebros

Q: What do you call a number that can’t keep still?

A: A roamin’ numeral.

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7?

A: Because 7 8 9

Q: What did the mathematician say when he finished his christmas dinner?

A: root -1/ root 64 (I over 8)

Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?

A: Nice belt!

Q: Why did the mutually exclusive events break up?

A: They had nothing in common.

Q: How is an artificial christmas tree like the fourth root of -68?

A: Neither has real roots.

Q: How do you call a one-sided nudie bar?

A: A Mobius strip club.

Q: How does a math professor propose to his fianc�e?

A: With a polynomial ring!

Q: What do you get if you cross a math teacher with a crab?

A: Snappy answers.

Q: Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?

A: They already 8 (ate)!

Q: What is the most erotic number?

A: 2110593!

Q: Why?

A: When 2 are 1 and don’t pay at10tion, they’ll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they’ll be 3.

Q: What is a proof?

A: One-half percent of alcohol.

Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?

A: A middle school math problem!

Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?

A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work – the philosopher can do without the trash bin.

Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean?

A: Mobius Dick.

Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?

A: A large pizza can feed a family of four

Q: How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?

A: `I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…’

Q: What is the world’s longest song?

A: “Aleph-nought Bottles of Beer on the Wall.”

Q: How do you call the largest accumulation point of poles?

A: Warsaw!

Q: How do you know when you’ve reached your Math Professors voice-mail?

A: The message is “The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please, rotate your phone by 90 degrees and try again…” Q: What is normed, complete, and yellow? A: A Bananach space… Q: What did 2 say to 4 after 2 beat him in a race? A: 2 Fast 4 U!

Q: What did Al Gore play on his guitar?

A: An algorithm!

Q: What did the mathematician’s parrot say?

A: A poly “no meal”

Q: Why dont people put the numbers 2,3, and 0 together?

A: Because they are two turdy.

Q: What did one math book say to the other?

A: Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!

Q: How do you teach a blonde math?

A: Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and square root her.

Q: What is the definition of a polar bear?

A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation

Q: Why do they never serve beer at a math party?

A: Because you can’t drink and derive…

Q: Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?

A: Because it had more cents.

Q: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

A: He worked it out with a pencil.

Q: How many molecules in a bowl of guacamole?

A: Avacado’s Number

Q: What happened to the plant in math class?

A: It grew square roots.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

A: To get to the same side.

Q: How do you make seven an even number?

A: Take the s out!

Q: Why wasn’t the geometry teacher at school?

A: Because she sprained her angle!!

Q: Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?

A: It’s two gross.

Q: Why couldn’t the moebius strip enroll at the school?

A: They required an orientation.

Q: What does a mathematician do about constipation?

A: He works it out with a pencil.

Q: Why is a math book always unhappy?

A: Because it always has lots of problems.

Q: Why don’t you do arithmetic in the jungle?

A: Because if you add 4+4 you get ate!

Q: Why did I divide sin by tan?

A: Just cos.

Q: Where do math teachers go on vacation?

A: To Times Square.

Q: What do you call friends who love math?

A: algebros

Q: What do you call a number that can’t keep still?

A: A roamin’ numeral.

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7?

A: Because 7 8 9

Q: What did the mathematician say when he finished his christmas dinner?

A: root -1/ root 64 (I over 8)

Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?

A: Nice belt!

Q: Why did the mutually exclusive events break up?

A: They had nothing in common.

Q: How is an artificial christmas tree like the fourth root of -68?

A: Neither has real roots.

Q: How do you call a one-sided nudie bar?

A: A Mobius strip club.

Q: How does a math professor propose to his fianc�e?

A: With a polynomial ring!

Q: What do you get if you cross a math teacher with a crab?

A: Snappy answers.

Q: Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?

A: They already 8 (ate)!

Q: What is the most erotic number?

A: 2110593!

Q: Why?

A: When 2 are 1 and don’t pay at10tion, they’ll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they’ll be 3.

Q: What is a proof?

A: One-half percent of alcohol.

Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?

A: A middle school math problem!

Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?

A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work – the philosopher can do without the trash bin.

Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean?

A: Mobius Dick.

Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?

A: A large pizza can feed a family of four