Horse Funny Jokes

Horse Funny Jokes! Hi friends, I have collected some new Horse Funny Jokes. Horse Funny Jokes has been published. So check the latest Horse Funny Jokes and share it with your lovely friends. Read it and enjoy you can hare it with your all lovely friends. Its give smile and happiness to everyone face. Laughter is the way to make smile on everyone’ s face. Laughter is the best medicine for our health. Be happy and keep laughing…
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Horse Funny Jokes

Q: What do race horses eat?
A: Fast Food.

Q: Why did the horse cross the road?
A: Because somebody shouted hay!

Q: What do you call a scary female horse?
A: A nightmare! Are you a horse? Yay or neigh?

Q: What type of a computer does a horse like to eat?
A: A Macintosh

Q: What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race?
A: Sherbet

Q: What do you call a promiscious pony?
A: A Little Whorse

Q: Why do horses like to fart when they buck?
A: Because they can’t achieve full horse power without gas.

Q: How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday?
A: His horse’s name was Friday!

Q: Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude?
A: She always said Neigh

Q: What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?
A: A tale of WHOA!

Q: What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?
A: A zebra!

Q: What street do horses live on?
A: Mane St.

Q: When do vampires watch horse racing?
A: When it’s neck and neck.

Q: What does a horse say when you don’t give them enough hey?
A: Ney.

Q: What did the momma say to the foal?
A: Its pasture your bedtime

Q: What did the waiter say to the horse?
A: I can’t take your order. That’s not my stable.

Q: What’s the quickest way to mail a little horse?
A: Use the Pony Express.

Q: What did one horse say to the other horse?
A: The pace is familiar but I can’t remember the mane.

Q: How do you make a small fortune breeding horses?
A: Start with a large fortune.

Q: What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?
A: Neigh buzz

Q: How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse?
A: With Southern Horspitality!

Q: Where do horses get their hair done?
A: Maine.

Q: How do you know when a foal is sick?

Q: When does the person living next to you get annoying?
A: When he is NEIGH-BORED.

Q: What do you call a boy named Ryder who likes to ride a horses back?

Q: What do you call 144 horses in a box?
A: Gross!

Q: What is a horses favorite state?
A: Neighbraska.

Q: Where do you put 2 horses that just broken up?
A: In the pasture

Q: What do you call a well balanced horse?
A: Stable.

Q: What kind of horses go out after dusk?
A: Nightmares!

Q: Why did the horse cross the road?
A: Because it wanted to see its neighbers!

Q: What do you call a noisy horse?
A: A herd animal.

Q: How do you get a horse drunk?
A: Drink him under the stable.

Q: Why are most horses in shape?
A: Because they are on a stable diet.

Q: What did the horse say when it fell?
A: “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”

Q: Did you hear about the blonde water-polo player?
A: His horse drowned

Q: What did the teacher say when the horse walked into her class?
A: “Why the long face?”

Q: What’s invisible and smells like hay?
A: Horse farts.

Q: What is a young Colts favorite sport?
A: Stable Tennis.

Q: How does a winning jockey communicate with his horse?
A: He lays his cards on the stable.

Q: What do you ask a sad horse?
A: “Why the long face?”

Q: What do you call a baby donkey?
A: A burrito!

Q: What did the mare tell her filly after dinner?
A: Clear the Stable.

Q: What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A: A neigh-bor!

Q: What kind of horse likes to be ridden at night?
A: A nightmare!

Q: What is a horses favorite song?
A: Watch Me (Whip / Neigh Neigh)

Q: Where do horses go when they’re sick?
A: The horsepital!

Q: Where do horses shop?
A: Old Neigh-vy!

Q: Did you know that Mister Ed’s real name was Bamboo Harvester?
A: Yeah, I got it straight from the horses mouth.

Q: Why did the Anorexic blonde start eating hay?
A: The doctor told her she needed to eat like a horse.

Q: Why don’t racehorses wear underwear?
A: Because it rides up on them!

Q: Did you hear about the horse that wears condoms?
A: They call him the “Trojan” horse.

Q: Why did the horse eat with its mouth open?
A: Because it had bad stable manners!

Q: How does a cowboy get a stallion to do odd jobs around the farm?
A: Pay him under the stable.

Q: What kind of bread does a horse eat?
A: Thoroughbred

Q: What is black and white and eats like a horse?
A: A zebra.

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.
He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Johnny asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?”
His father replied, “Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.
Johnny, looking worried, said, “Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom.”

Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, “Did Santa get you that?”
“Yes,” replies the little girl.
“Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!” and fines her $5.
The little girl looks up at the cop and says, “Nice horse you’ve got there, did Santa bring you that?”
The cop chuckles and replies, “He sure did!”
“Well,” says the little girl, “Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!”

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