English funny jokes for students! Hi friends, I have collected some new English funny jokes for students. So check the latest English funny jokes for students and share it with your lovely friends.
English funny jokes for students, Hello friends,I have some new English funny jokes for students so read,share and enjoy it….
Teacher: Ramu, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America.
Shamu: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America?
Teacher: Ramu, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did u copy his?
Ramu: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also
admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
Ramu: “Because George still had the axe in his hand.”
Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
Ramu: Don’t bite any.
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would
I be showing?
Ramu: Brotherly love.
Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: who just threw that?!
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
Teacher: What is your name?
Student: Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.
Teacher: When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.
Student: My name is Sunlight.
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhiji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.
Teacher: What is the full form of maths?
Student: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
Teacher: Because of Gandhiji’s hard work what do we get on 15th August?
Student: A holiday
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born. [1st Rank]
Teacher: There is a frog, ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs. 3 per Kg… Then, what is my age?
Student: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.”
The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”
The little girl replied, “My homework.”
Teacher: “Why are you late, Joseph?”
Joseph: “Because of a sign down the road.”
Teacher: “What does a sign have to do with you being late?”
Joseph: “The sign said, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow!’”
The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
Teacher : What is the biggest drug addiction ?
Students : Books…
Sleep begins to open
Teacher : Great is the one who helps others all the time
Pappu : But Sir …
At the time of the exam, you become great yourself
Nor allow us to become
Teacher : Bhaichara shabd prayog karte hue koi baakya banao
Student : Kal maine dudhawaale se poonchha
Tum doodh itna mahanga kyon bechte ho
To wah bola bhai chara mahanga ho gaya hai
Teacher : What is the difference between senior and junior
Student : Sir, who lives near the sea is senior (sea near)
And who lives near the zoo is junior (zoo near)
Teacher : Today is your first day in school
If you have any queries then you can ask
Student : When are the holidays here ?
Teacher : Kya padhaun aaj ?
Student : Nikaah padhawa deejie aaj
Roll Numbar 32 ke saath
Teacher : Why did you come to school late ?
Student : Due to the board on the road
Teacher : How the Board ?
Teacher : It was written on the board
School ahead, please move slowly
Teacher : Tell the name of a place where there are many people
Still you feel lonely yourself
Student : Examination Room
sir : if any dought ask me
student : sir, in question paper question is there but in answer paper no answer is there
The teacher asked, ‘Give me an example of Coincidence?’
Student replied, My mom and dad got married on the same date.
Teacher: Whats the meaning of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder?
Student: Bamba’lakkadi Jimba.
Teacher: I dont understand anything you said.
Student: Same here.
Teacher: Suppose, you have offered money and knowledge. You have to take one of them. Which one you should choose?
Teacher: I would have taken knowledge. But why do you take money?
Student: I have the lack of money that’s why. You have the lack of knowledge. That’s why
Teacher: I think you are chewing gum.
John: No Sir, I am John Smith.
Teacher: Tell me an example of a creature which can live on water as well as the land.
Teacher: Another example.
Student: Another frog.
Teacher: Which one is closer, Sun or Australia?
Student: We can see the sun all the time, but can’t see Australia.
Teacher: Robin, I always see that when I start teaching in the class, you always talk with your friends.
Robin: But Sir, I don’t talk when I sleep.
Teacher is explaining to the student,
‘if you see someone sinking in the water, you should pull his hair to save him from the water. It will be easy for you.’
Student: but sir, if it happens to you, we shouldn’t help you.
Student: because you don’t have any hair.
Teacher: You are late today Mike.
Mike: Sir, I obeyed a sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Mike: COLLEGE AHEAD, DRIVE SLOW.
Math teacher: Tell me Jenny, if a milkman mixes 2 litres water and 1 liter milk, he will get 3 litres. What will happen if he mixes 6 litres of water and 3 litres milk?
aJenny: I am not a milkman, how can I solve it?
Teacher: Suppose, you have 4 coins in your pocket and there is a hole in the pocket. All the four coins fall down from that hole. What will you have in your pocket?
Student: A hole.
A new student came to the class. After asking his name the teacher said,
‘What does your father do?’
Student: Whatever Mom says.
Teacher: Sir, why doctors wear a mask when they do an operation?
Student: For safety. If the patient dies, others can’t find out who did the operation.
Teacher: Gwen, come here and point out Africa from this globe.
Teacher: Correct! John, who discovered Africa?
Ben got 100 out of 100 in the exam. So the teacher gave him a gift and said,
I hope you will do the same in the next exam.’
Ben: Thank you Sir. I hope you will also print the question paper from my uncle’s printing shop next time.
Teacher: You promised me to submit me a paragraph, right?
Student: Yes Sir.
Teacher: And I also promised that if you fail to submit it, I will punish you, right?
Student: Yes Sir, so it will be fair if you break your promise too.
Teacher: Suppose, you have 2$. You asked your mother for one more. How many would you have then?
Student: Because my mother won’t give me any.
After answering correct, the teacher said, ‘Smith, tell me an important incident which never happened before within ten years’.
Smith: I answered correct today.
Teacher: If your father and mother both give you 50$, what you will get?
Student: A new video game.
Teacher: Suppose, I give you 2 dogs. Then I again give you 2 dogs. How many will you have?
Student: I have a dog in my house now.
Teacher: Why does sea water tastes like salt?
Student: Maybe a ship of salt sinked a long time ago
TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
PAPPU : I is…
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, “I am.”
PAPPU : All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell “crocodile”?
PAPPU : “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER : No, that’s wrong PAPPU : Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU
Student A: My teacher caned me for something I didnt do?
Student B: Thats so bad.
Student A: Well, I didnt do my homework.
Student: I don’t think I deserve Zero in this answer paper.
Teacher: Agreed. You deserve -1.
Teacher: Ron, your handwriting is very bad. You will suffer in the future.
Ron: Don’t worry Sir. I will be a typist.
Opening the book in the class, the teacher asked, ‘So, where were we?’
Student: In this class, Sir.
Teacher: Which is your native place?
Rahul: Maharashtra m’aam.
Teacher: Can you spell it?
Rahul: Actually my native place is goa.