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Education Funny Jokes

Education Funny Jokes

Enjoy these beautiful, really funny educational jokes! Don’t forget to check out those really funny ones in the comments too

Physics Teacher: “Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?”
Student: “Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.”

Two factory workers talking:
Woman: “I can make the boss give me the day off.”
Man: “And how would you do that?”
Woman: “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
Boss comes in: “What are you doing?”
Woman: “I’m a light bulb.”
Boss: “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.”
The man starts to follow her and the boss says: “Where are you going?”
The man says: “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”

A man talking to God:
The man: “God, how long is a million years?”
God: “To me, it’s about a minute.”
The man: “God, how much is a million dollars?”
God: “To me it’s a penny.”
The man: “God, may I have a penny?”
God: “Wait a minute.”

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.”
The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”
The little girl replied, “My homework.”

The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

Teacher: “Why are you late, Joseph?”
Joseph: “Because of a sign down the road.”
Teacher: “What does a sign have to do with you being late?”
Joseph: “The sign said, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow!’”

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?”
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”

“Isn’t the principal a dummy!” – said a boy to a girl.
“Well, do you know who I am?” – asked the girl.
“No.” – replied the boy.
“I’m the principal’s daughter.” – said the girl.
“And do you know who I am?” – asked the boy.
“No.” – she replied.
“Thank goodness!” – said the boy with a sign of relief.

Teacher asked George: “How can you prove the earth is round?”
George replied: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”

eacher: “Here is a math problem. If your dad earned $300 dollars a week and he gave your mother half, what should he have?”
Student: “A heart attack.”
😛

Teacher: “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?”
Vincent: “One dollar.”
Teacher: “You don’t know your arithmetic.”
Vincent: “You don’t know my father.”

1) A teacher said to her little student Suzy, “Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry.”
Little Suzy thought for a moment and began her reply, “Let’s see… Fun period … fun period … fun no period … worry worry worry!”

2) Finding one of her students making faces at others, Ms. Smith said to the child, “Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Bobby looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”

3) Father: How do you like going to school ?
Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I’m not too keen on the time in-between !

4) Teacher: Billy, name two pronouns.
Billy: Who, me?
Teacher: Very good!

5) The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, “What did you learn today?”
The kid replies, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”

6) When you are going back after vacations
The best part of going back to school is seeing all your friends. The worst part is that your teachers won’t let you talk to them.

7) In college I’m studying Pharmacy –
Because I’ve always wanted to be a farmer.

8) When is an English teacher like a judge?
When she hands out long sentences.

9) Teacher: Billy, why have you not given me your homework?
Billy: I made it into a paper aeroplane and someone hijacked it.

10) Teacher: You aren’t paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing ?
Pupil: No, teacher I’m having trouble listening !

बायोलॉजी के टीचर- सेल मतलब शरीर की कोशिकाएं…
फिजिक्स केे टीचर- सेल मतलब बैटरी…
इकॉनॉमिक के टिचर- सेल मतलब बिक्री….
हिस्ट्री के टीचर- सेल मतलब जेल….
अंग्रेजी के टीचर- सेल मतलब मोबाइल
मैने तो भाई पढ़ाई ही छोड दी,
जिस स्कूल में पाँच शिक्षक.. एक शब्द पर एकमत नहीं हैं।
उस स्कूल में पढ़ कर हमें क्या मिलेगा? 😉

ये पढाई नही आसान बस इतना समझ लो तुम्
फेल हो जाओ तो घरवाले घर से निकाल देते है, . और ,, टॉप कर लो तो पुलिस उठा ले जाती है . . Bihari स्टूडेंट 😂 😂 😂

मुझे जिंदगी का तजूर्बा तो नहीं पर
इतना मालूम है ,😒
छोटा आदमी बडे मौके पर काम
आ जाता है। 👏
और
बड़ा आदमी छोटी सी बात पर औकात
दिखा जाता है ! 😕

एक लड़की अपने प्रोफेसर के कमरे में गयी और बोली… 😍
मै पास होने के लिये कुछ भी करने को तैयार
हूँ…. 😍 😘
प्रोफेसर- कुछ भी…?? 😉 😱 😋
लड़की- हाँ कुछ भी…. 😘 😍
प्रोफेसर- तो पढ़ ले बेटी… 😂

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