Question: Why did the poor man sell yeast?
Answer: To raise some dough.
Q. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
A. “Give me my quarterback!”
Q. Why is there a gate around cemeteries?
A. Because people are dying to get in.
Q. What did the mayonaise say when someone opened the refrigerator door.
A. Close the door I am dressing!
Magsasaka:Hayop ka!! ginawa mo lng ako tagatingin sa farm mo….di na nga tumaas ung sahod ko eh…..pag namatay ako cnu mag papakain ng pamilya ko?ikaw?
Amo: Speak in English..baka taasan ko sahod mo
Magsasaka:Animal u!!u made me manman in the farm…my salary did not climb…if i die who will eat my family?you?
pasahero: manong bayad po…
jeepney driver: saan galing tong bente?
pasahero: huh?…e di sa bulsa koh?!
Q: ano ang sunod ng city?
A: e di otso!!
Q: How do you make an artichoke?
A: You strangle it.Screenshot 2013-12-12 11.39.28
Q: What did the lettuce say to the celery?
A: Quit stalking me!
Q: What school subject is the fruitiest?
A: History because it is full of dates!
Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.
Q: What vegetables are sailor’s enemies?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Lettuce! Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and you’ll find out!
Q: What’s small and red and has a rough voice?
A: A hoarse raddish!
Q: What’s a vampires favourite fruit?
A: A neck-tarine!
Q: What’s brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A: A coconut on vacation!
Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: Because it wasn’t peeling well.
Q: What key do you use to open a banana?
A: A monkey.
Q: When is an apple a grouch?
A: When it is a crab apple.
Bean a while since I saw you!
Q: What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato while out for a walk?
Q: Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties?
A: Because they are such fungis.
Q: What is a plumber’s favourite vegetable?
A: A leek.
Q: Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?
A: Too many ears.