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Corny Funny jokes

Corny Funny jokes

Question: Why did the poor man sell yeast?
Answer: To raise some dough.

Q. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
A. “Give me my quarterback!”

Q. Why is there a gate around cemeteries?
A. Because people are dying to get in.

Q. What did the mayonaise say when someone opened the refrigerator door.
A. Close the door I am dressing!

Magsasaka:Hayop ka!! ginawa mo lng ako tagatingin sa farm mo….di na nga tumaas ung sahod ko eh…..pag namatay ako cnu mag papakain ng pamilya ko?ikaw?
Amo: Speak in English..baka taasan ko sahod mo
Magsasaka:Animal u!!u made me manman in the farm…my salary did not climb…if i die who will eat my family?you?

sa jeep…
pasahero: manong bayad po…
jeepney driver: saan galing tong bente?
pasahero: huh?…e di sa bulsa koh?!
Q: ano ang sunod ng city?
A: e di otso!!

Q: How do you make an artichoke?
A: You strangle it.Screenshot 2013-12-12 11.39.28

Q: What did the lettuce say to the celery?
A: Quit stalking me!

Q: What school subject is the fruitiest?
A: History because it is full of dates!

Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.

Q: What vegetables are sailor’s enemies?
A: Leeks

Knock knock! Who’s there?
Lettuce! Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and you’ll find out!

Q: What’s small and red and has a rough voice?
A: A hoarse raddish!

Q: What’s a vampires favourite fruit?
A: A neck-tarine!

Q: What’s brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A: A coconut on vacation!

Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: Because it wasn’t peeling well.

Q: What key do you use to open a banana?
A: A monkey.

Q: When is an apple a grouch?
A: When it is a crab apple.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Bean
Bean who?
Bean a while since I saw you!

Q: What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato while out for a walk?
A: Ketchup!

Q: Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties?
A: Because they are such fungis.

Q: What is a plumber’s favourite vegetable?
A: A leek.

Q: Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?
A: Too many ears.

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