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Clean Short Funny Jokes

Clean Short Funny Jokes

Why don’t you share Clean Short Funny Jokes among friends. Our latest Clean Short Funny Jokes will spread smile on faces.

  1. My granddad has the heart of a lion and a life time ban from the San Diego Zoo.
  2. I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.
  3. Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection,
    except one. He’s never gonna give you Up.
  4. Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says:
    “Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?”
  5. “This is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.”
  6. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
    He told me to stop going to those places.
  7. Atheism is a non-prophet organization
  8. What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.
  9. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
  10. What does the aardvark call his dog?Aard-bark! …
  11. What is the difference between an aardvark and a coyote?One has a long smeller,
    the other, a loud yeller! …
  12. Who loves hamburgers, French fries, and ants?Ronald MacAardvark! …
  13. What does an aardvark keep in his aquarium?An aard-shark! …
  14. It takes a lot of balls to golf like me.
  15. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there,
    he said he couldn’t complain.
  16. There’s no “I” in Denial.
  17. A soldier survived mustard gas in battle,
    and then pepper spray by the police. He’s now a seasoned veteran.
  18. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know,
    but their flag is a huge plus.
  19. A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says,
    “Make me one with everything.”
  20. A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
  21. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
  22. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
  23. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
  24. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
    If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
  25. Having s**x is like playing bridge.
    If you don’t have a good partner,
    you’d better have a good hand.
    short funny jokes 3
  26. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’
    and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
  27. How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
  28. Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says,
    “Weeeeeooooouuuhhhh”. The next whale says, “Shut up, Steve. You’re drunk.”
  29. I hate Russian dolls…so full of themselves
  30. What’s E.T. short for? Because he’s only got little legs.
  31. “I stand corrected,” said the man in the orthopedic shoes.
  32. I’m addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.
  33. God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
  34. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
  35. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
  36. I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.
  37. We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
  38. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut,
    and still think they are s**xy.
  39. War does not determine who is right. It determines who is left.
  40. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
  41. What’s the difference between my ex and the titanic?
    The titanic only went down on 1,000 people
  42. Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
  43. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
  44. A ragged individual stranded for several months,
    on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific,
    Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand …
  45. This customer comes into the computer store.
    “Im looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know,
    something really challenging.” …
  46. Redmond, WA –Microsoft announced today that
    the official release date for the new operating system
    “Windows 2000” will be delayed until the second qu …
  47. What do computers eat when they get
    hungry? Chips. …
  48. Two penguins walk into a bar… which is stupid because the second one should have seen it.
  49. What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.
  50. Wanna hear a joke about Potassium? (whether they say ‘yes’ or ‘no’): K.

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