Why don’t you share Clean Short Funny Jokes among friends. Our latest Clean Short Funny Jokes will spread smile on faces.
- My granddad has the heart of a lion and a life time ban from the San Diego Zoo.
- I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.
- Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection,
except one. He’s never gonna give you Up.
- Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says:
“Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?”
- “This is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.”
- I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places.
- Atheism is a non-prophet organization
- What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- What does the aardvark call his dog?Aard-bark! …
- What is the difference between an aardvark and a coyote?One has a long smeller,
the other, a loud yeller! …
- Who loves hamburgers, French fries, and ants?Ronald MacAardvark! …
- What does an aardvark keep in his aquarium?An aard-shark! …
- It takes a lot of balls to golf like me.
- I asked my North Korean friend how it was there,
he said he couldn’t complain.
- There’s no “I” in Denial.
- A soldier survived mustard gas in battle,
and then pepper spray by the police. He’s now a seasoned veteran.
- What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know,
but their flag is a huge plus.
- A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says,
“Make me one with everything.”
- A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
- It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
- Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
- Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
- Having s**x is like playing bridge.
If you don’t have a good partner,
you’d better have a good hand.
short funny jokes 3
- Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’
and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
- How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
- Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says,
“Weeeeeooooouuuhhhh”. The next whale says, “Shut up, Steve. You’re drunk.”
- I hate Russian dolls…so full of themselves
- What’s E.T. short for? Because he’s only got little legs.
- “I stand corrected,” said the man in the orthopedic shoes.
- I’m addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.
- God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
- Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
- I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.
- We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut,
and still think they are s**xy.
- War does not determine who is right. It determines who is left.
- Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
- What’s the difference between my ex and the titanic?
The titanic only went down on 1,000 people
- Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
- I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
- A ragged individual stranded for several months,
on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific,
Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand …
- This customer comes into the computer store.
“Im looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know,
something really challenging.” …
- Redmond, WA –Microsoft announced today that
the official release date for the new operating system
“Windows 2000” will be delayed until the second qu …
- What do computers eat when they get
hungry? Chips. …
- Two penguins walk into a bar… which is stupid because the second one should have seen it.
- What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.
- Wanna hear a joke about Potassium? (whether they say ‘yes’ or ‘no’): K.