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Chemistry Funny Jokes

Chemistry Funny Jokes! Hello friends, I have collected some new Chemistry Funny Jokes. So check the latest Chemistry Funny Jokes and share it with your all lovely friends.

Chemistry  Funny Jokes

Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying,
“I’m positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me.
You gotta keep your ion them.”

A chemistry professor couldn’t resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture.
He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying,
“Remember, if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate!”

A student comes into his lab class right at the end of the hour.
Fearing he’ll get an “F”, he asks a fellow student what she’s been doing.
“We’ve been observing water under the microscope. We’re suppose to write up what we see.
” The page of her notebook is filled with little figures resembling circles and ellipses with hair on them.
The panic-stricken student hears the bell go off, opens his notebook and writes, “During this laboratory,
I examined water under the microscope and I saw twice as many H’s as O’s.”

Here is a historical note: In the 1980’s,
in an effort to increase public awareness about the importance of chemistry,
the American Chemical Society posted billboards with a picture of C6H10 and the title,
“It takes alkynes to make a world.”

Riddle: Two chemistry students walk into a bar.
The first says, “I’ll order an H2O.”
The second then says, “I’ll order an H2O too.”
Why did the second student die?

Chemistry Teacher to the Class: “What is the formula for water?”
A Student: “H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O”
Teacher: “That’s not what you have been taught.”
The Student: “But I thought you told us the formula for water was…H to O.”

Man: I wish I was the Enzyme DNA Helicase.
Woman: Why?
Man: So I could unzip your genes.

Teacher: Johnny, what’s H2SO4?
Johnny: Oh…er…hang on, I know this…it’s on the tip of my tongue.
Teacher: Well spit it out then!

A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of drinks.
As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes.
The waiter replies, “For you, No Charge!”

Two atoms are walking down the street. Says one atom to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!”
The other says, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive!”

A group of students were discussing which of their specialities was of the most practical use.
A fellow student appeared at the table with a large pink gin.
The chemist proceeded to explain why it was pink in color.
The physicist measured the specific gravity.
The mathematician calculated the cost per unit volume.
The doctor outlined what it would do to the liver.
The engineer picked it up and drank it.

A chemistry professor couldn’t resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture.
He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, “Remember,
if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate!”

The anti aircraft guns fired at the bomber pilot as he emptied his load of Hydrochloric Acid over enemy territory.
He smiled with satisfaction at the voice over his radio. “Congratulations, you’ve just neutralized a dangerous base!”

At the end of the semester, a 10th-grade chemistry teacher asked her students,
what was the most important that they learned in lab.
A student promptly raised his hand and said, “Never Like the Spoon.”

A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a bunsen burner.
“Bunsen! My flame! I melt whenever I see you!” said the ice. The bunsen burner replied:
“It’s just a phase you’re going through.”

A freshman chemistry student prepared a standard solution and showed it to her professor.
The professor gave her a puzzled look, and said,
“This solution looks a bit weird. Are you sure you used the right set of reagents?”
The student replied, “Absolutely. According to my calculations, this is one normal solution.”

Wife calls her scientist husband… “Honey… It’s Friday… you’re late…”   “I’m busy with my team in an experiment.”   “What’s that?”   “We’ve just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambient temperature H2O and aqueous CO2. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now while waiting for some protein, we are fumigating the lab with vapors of nicotine… It’s a 4 or 5 round experiment… So I will be late.”   “Oh dear… I won’t disturb you… please take your time…”   Here :   C2H5OH  is (Alcohol) H2O is  (Water) Aqueous is CO2 (Soda) Protein is (Chicken) Vapors of Nicotine is (Smoking)

xQ: What is the chemical formula for “banana”?
A: BaNa2
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They’re cheaper than day rates.
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!

neutron enters a bar and orders a beverage. The bartender sits on a stool and provides him with a drink.
The neutron asks ‘ How much to drink, after completing his drink? ‘
The bartender replies ‘For you, NO CHARGE!’

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