Appropriate Funny Jokes! Hello friends, I have collected some new Appropriate Funny Jokes. So check it and share it with your lovely friend.
- What’s red and moves up and down?
A tomato in an elevator
- I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday.
Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent!
- My roommate told me my clothes look gay.
I was like, don’t be a dick dude; they just came out of the closet.
- How did the blonde die ice fishing?
She was hit by the zamboni.
- Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.
- What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name.
- I couldn’t believe that the highway department called my dad a thief.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?”
Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”
Q: What did the ground say to the earthquake?
A: You crack me up!
Q: Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
A: To reach the high notes.
Q: What’s the worst thing you’re likely to find in the school cafeteria?
A: The Food!
Q: What kind of plates do they use on Venus?
A: Flying saucers!
Q: Why did nose not want to go to school?
A: He was tired of getting picked on!
Q: How do you get straight A’s?
A: By using a ruler!
Q: What did the pen say to the pencil?
A: So, what’s your point!
Q: Why did the kid study in the airplane?
A: Because he wanted a higher education!
Q: How did the music teacher get locked in the classroom?
A: His keys were inside the piano!
Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The elf-abet!
Q: What did you learn in school today?
A: Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!
Q: What holds the sun up in the sky?
Q: What object is king of the classroom?
A: The ruler!
Q: When do astronauts eat?
A: At launch time!
Q: What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
A: Stop going in circles and get to the point!
Q: How does the barber cut the moon’s hair?
A: E-clipse it!
Q: What happened when the wheel was invented?
A: It caused a revolution!
Q: What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
Q: What is the world’s tallest building?
A: The library because it has the most stories.
Q: What vegetables to librarians like?
A: Quiet peas.
Q: Why did the clock in the cafeteria run slow?
A: It always went back four seconds.
Q: Why didn’t the sun go to college?
A: Because it already had a million degrees!
Q: Why did the superhero flush the toilet?
A: Because it was his doody.
Q: How do you get a tissue to dance?
A: You put a little boogie into it.
Q: What did one toilet say to the other?
A: You look a bit flushed!
Q: Who did the zombie take to the prom?
A: His ghoul-friend!
Q: What is big, green and plays a lot of tricks?
Q: Why did the ghost blow his nose?
A: Because it was full of booo-gers!
Q: Where do you learn to make banana splits?
A: At sundae school.
Q: Why did the melon jump into the lake?
A: It wanted to be a water-melon.
Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A: It was feeling crumb-y.
Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: He was peeling really bad.
Q: Where do hamburgers go to dance?
A: They go to the meat-ball.
Jokes about nature
Q: How does the ocean say hello?
A: It waves.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone!
Q: What’s the worst thing about throwing a party in space?
A: You have to planet.
Q: How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?
A: When it’s full!
Jokes about people
Q: Why did the policeman go to the baseball game?
A: He’d heard that someone had stolen a base!
Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one.
Q: What kind of shoes do all spies wear?
Q: What do you call two guys hanging on a curtain?
A: Kurt and Rod!
Jokes about school
Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: Because it had so many problems.
Q: What’s a snake’s favorite subject?
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
Q: What time would it be if Godzilla came to school?
A: Time to run!
Q: Why did the dog do so well in school?
A: Because he was the teacher’s pet!
Q: Why did the egg get thrown out of class?
A: Because he kept telling yolks!
Q. How do bees get to school?
A. By school buzz…
Q. How do the fish get to school?
A. By octobus!
Q. What does a gorilla learns in school?
A. His Ape B C’s.
What does a snake learn in school?
A. Hiss tory.
Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
It’s not right.
Q. Did you hear about the cross eyed-teacher?
A. He couldn’t control his pupils!
Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. “I’m stuck on you.”
Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn’t do it, principals don’t like to be crossed!
Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.
Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!
Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.
Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.
Q. What did the ghost teacher say to his class?
A. “Look at the board and I’ll go through it again!”
Q. Why did the students study in the airplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.
Q. Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!
Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).
Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!
Q. What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!
Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!
Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!
Q. Why did the boy go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. “I’ve got problems.”
Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. “You can count on me!”
Q. Why didn’t the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn’t want anything to slip his mind.
Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.
Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!
Q. What’s the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, “Spit your gum out” and the train says, “Choo-……..choo!”
Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.
Q. Why did the boy eat his homework?
A. Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Q. Why did the boy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.
Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numbers you have to carry.
Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, “Order students, order?”
A. “Can I have fries and a burger?”