Animal Funny Jokes

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Find more than 100 animal funny jokes in this article. All latest animal funny jokes will laugh you. It can share with your friends.

Reporter: “Excuse me, may I interview you?”
Man: “Yes!”

Reporter: “Name?”
Man: “Abdul Al-Rhazim.”

Reporter: “S**x?”
Man: “Three to five times a week.”

Reporter: “No no! I mean male or female?”
Man: “Yes, male, female… sometimes camel.”

Reporter: “Holy cow!”
Man: “Yes, cow, sheep… animals in general.”

Reporter: “But isn’t that hostile?”
Man: “Yes, horse style, dog style, any style.”

Reporter: “Oh dear!”
Man: “No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch.”

What to rabbits eat for breakfast? IHOP.

What happens to a toad’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.

What do cats have for breakfast? Mice Crispies!

What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies? “Should we walk
home or take a dog?!”

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison!

What do you call a dog magician? A Labracadabrador!

What do you call an alligator who solves mysteries? An investgator!

Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tale.

What steps do you take if you a tiger is running towards you? Big ones!

A pony went to see the doctor, because it couldn’t speak. “I know what’s wrong,” said the doctor. “You’re a little horse!”

What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? Lost!

Q: Why did the cat go to Minnesota?
A: To get a mini soda!


Q: Where do orcas hear music?
A: Orca-stras!


Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.


Q: What do you call a fish without an eye?
A: Fsh!


Q: What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
A: Take the words out of his mouth!


Q: What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?
A: A chili dog on a bun.


Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Q: Where do mice park their boats?
A: At the hickory dickory dock.


Q: Where did the sheep go on vacation?
A: The baaaahamas


Q: What do you call a thieving alligator?
A: A crookodile


Q: What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?
A: A watch dog.


Q: What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A: A lawn moo-er.


Q: What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
A: Lilly.


Q: How does a dog stop a video?
A: He presses the paws button.


Q: Why do cows go to New York?
A: To see the moosicals!


Q: What do you call lending money to a bison?
A: A buff-a-loan


Q: What is the snake’s favorite subject?
A: Hiss-story


Q: What is black ,white and red all over?
A: A sunburnt penguin!


Q: Why does a dog wag its tail?
A: Because there’s no one else to wag it for him.


Q: What is a cat’s favorite movie?
A: The sound of Mew-sic!


Q: How do you make a goldfish old?
A: Take away the g!


Q: Why did the lamb cross the road?
A: To get to the baaaaarber shop!


Q: How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
A: Squeaky clean!


Q: What has four legs and goes “Oom, Oom”?
A: A cow walking backwards!


Q: Where do you put barking dogs?
A: In a barking lot.


Q: What do you call a pig that’s been arrested for dangerous driving?
A: A road hog.


Q: What is a cheetahs favorite food?
A: Fast food!

What kind of ties do pigs wear? Pig sties!

  1. What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same?
  2. Where did the cat go when it lost its tail?
    To the retail store!
  3. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
    Where you left it.
  4. Why is a bee’s hair always sticky?
    Because it uses a honey comb!
  5. Why are fish so good at watching their weight?
    Because they have lots of scales.
    A lost dog strays into the jungle one day.

From a distance, a lion sees this and thinks to himself, “Hmmm, this guy looks edible, I’ve never seen his kind before”.

So the lion starts running towards the dog with menace but the dog notices this and starts to panic.

As he’s about to run he sees some bones on the ground next to him, gets an idea and says loudly, “Mmm… That was some good lion meat!”

The lion screeches to a halt and says, “Woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can” and then runs away.

Over in a tree, is a monkey who sees everything and realizes that he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion what happened and getting something in return.

So the monkey finds the lion and tells him what really happened. The lion says to the monkey angrily, “Get on my back, we’ll get him together”.

So the monkey climbs on the lion’s back and they start rushing back to the dog.
The dog sees them, realizes what has happened and starts to panic even more.

But then he gets another idea and shouts, “Where is that monkey!?! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago…

  1. What animal has more lives than a cat?
    Frogs, they croak every night!

Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A Labracadabrador

Q: Which animal always cheats on tests?
A: A cheetah

Q: What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
A: Bison

Q: What is a cat’s favourite color?
A: Purr-ple

Q: What are caterpillars afraid of?
A: Dogger-pillars

Q: What animals are the best pets?
A: Cats, because they are purr-fect

Q: Why did the leopard wear a striped shirt?
A: So he wouldn’t be spotted

Q: What is a cat’s favorite song?
A: Three Blind Mice

Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
A: Because they have honeycombs

Q: What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!

Q: What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
A: His bark was much worse than his bite!

Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A: Well, a cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night!

Q: Why do fish swim in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze

Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it’s too far to walk

Q: What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?
A: Lost

Q: What do you call a girl cow in Spanish?
A: Moo-chacha

Q: What do ducks watch on TV?
A: Duck-umentaries

Q: What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?
A: A drizzly bear
Q. What kind of motorcycle does a pig drive?
A. A hog!

Q. What did the dragon say after laying 50 eggs?
A. “I’m EGGShausted!”

Q. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A. Take away its credit card.

Q. What do you call a polar bear in the desert?
A. Lost.

Q. Why did the turtle cross the street?
A. To get to the Shell station.

Q. What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
A. You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish!

Q. What is black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
A. Two skunks fighting over a pickle.

Q. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
A. They have two left feet.

Q. What is the same size as a elephant, yet weighs nothing?
A. An elephant’s shadow!

Q. Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A. To stomp out forest fires.

Q. What’s a cat’s favourite magazine?
A. A CAT-alogue.

Q. What is green and hangs off trees?
A. Giraffe snot.

Q. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A. A dino-snore!

Q. Why was the horse unable to get into the antelopes’ music club?
A. He had no horns!

Q. What is the cat’s favorite button on the remote?
A. Paws.

Q. What does an alligator drink when it is sick?
A. Gatorade!

Q. What did the joey say to the turtle?
A. “I can take my home with me too.”

Q. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?
A. Great big holes all over Australia.

Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A. A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

Q. How do you spell mousetrap with ONLY three letters?
A. C-A-T!

Teacher: “What does a duck say?”
Jenny: “Quack Quack”

Teacher: “What does a cow say?”
Madison: “Moo”

Teacher: “What does a pig say?”
Little Johnny: “A pig says holds up gun get on the wall, you motherfucker!”

Why did the boy throw the butter out the window? To see a butterfly.

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: She liked kids…

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